CrackMonk's blog, page 5

Last login: 17 hours agoCrackMonk: Jess is a 19 year old single woman from Denver, Colorado, USA.; Likes 1,570 pages, 37 videos, 21 photos • 42 fans • Received 10 reviews; Member since Jun 22, 2005

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Ze Monkeh Vault! Oh, the humanity!: Jun 7, 3:33pm 1 review humor, blogs, saliva, gatorade
http://www.monkeyvault.net/update3.html; Gatorade! Badly organized satire! PANTS!

Ze Monkeh Vault! Oh, the humanity!: Jun 7, 3:32pm 1 review humor, blogs, sick, goats
http://monkeyvault.net/update4.html; Mmmm. Phlegmy.

Straight Dope Staff Report: Did band leader Glenn Miller die in a French brothel…: May 9, 7:43am 1 review
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mglennmiller.html; Interesting thought.

- The Balloon Man -: Apr 30, 7:11pm 1 review philosophy, physics, blogs, pants
http://theballoonman.wordpress.com/; If Brad Pitt and Isaac Newton had a lovechild, The Balloon Man would be their hot manbaby.

Heavenly Couture - Junior Clothing, Contemporary Designers, and Teen Fashion fo…: Apr 20, 2:04pm 6 reviews shopping
http://www.getheavenly.com/product_info.php?cPath=27&products_id=569; ... but why?

Apr 20, 1:56pm: Hey guys! So, you know how on like, half my reviews, there are these MASSIVE GAPS between paragraphs? See, it's supposed to be like this:

One line of space between paragraphs, so I don't have to bother with those craaaazy "indentations" at the beginning of my 'graphs. (See what I did there? I invented slang for paragraphs. Roll with it.) But then sometimes, it looks like this:

You know, with TWO big-ass lines of space.

Well, here's what was happening. I would thumb-up a delicious site that made my insides warm and fuzzy. Then I'd decide I wanted to review it. Good choice, right? Right. So I'd type out my review, and add paragraph spaces by hitting the "enter" key a grand total of two times. I would then hit the "Add Review" button. Because that's how I party. Then, I would see my review on the Stumble page, and it would have no spaces between mah 'graphs. I'd be all, "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!"

I would proceed to edit the review, and manually add the HTML tag for paragraph spaces. I'd hit the "save" button, and everything would look fine.

Then, I'd go to my blog, and there would be WAY TOO MANY SPACES OH GOD WHY. Was God mocking me? Yes. Yes he was.

It turns out that, for some random reason, spaces added using the handy "enter" key only appear on StumbleUpon blogs. They do not show up on review pages. Since I expected the "enter key" spaces not to show up at ALL, I wasn't bothering to delete them when adding the "BR" tags. The result was that BOTH types of spaces were showing up in my blog, causing a nasty eyesore of spaciness. Unfortunately, now I feel the urge to go back and edit every single review I've ever made, even though no one really cares but me.

This is the only blog I will ever post here.

Extremely Bad Advice: Cheat Codes Deciphered - The Ampersand: Apr 20, 1:28pm 3 reviews relationships
http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/theampersand/archive/2008/04/17/extr...; "UP, DOWN, UP, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, SLEEP WITH YOUR YOUNGER BROTHER, B, A, START."

I feel like I'm stalking webcomic writers now. But I'm not.

(I am.)

One Day I Chanced Upon A Mystery: Apr 18, 9:36pm 173 reviews humor
http://ekarj.com/mysterybags.htm; So I totally used to work at this store. I used to MAKE these bags, man! Dollar Tree's dirty little secret is that the "surprise" items are actually just damaged shit that they couldn't sell or repackage. Anything they found around the store that had been opened got thrown in a grab bag.

Think about it, man! That's crazy unethical. I mean, if someone opened the package, they could have done anything to it! They could have peed on it!

I don't know why you'd go into Dollar Tree to open stuff and pee on it, but having worked there for 8 months, I do not doubt that it's a possibility. I mean, someone actually once peed on a bunch of wrapping paper for no reason. Seriously.

Thankfully none of it ended up in the grab bags. As far as I know.